So What are Soul Mates???

Hello Ms. Q,

In my last post I talked about group souls, in group souls we do have individual members that we will meet again and again, now these are not all soul mates, but those that we are closely allied to that we will re-incarnate again and again but in different ways, in one life time you could have been mother-daughter in the next that could be reversed, that soul who was the daughter will be the mother in the next life time, or husband and wife and again reversed.

In some instances, brother sister or sister sister or brother brother, best buds, best friends, but we made that bargain before we were born, in that case we then are similar souls from the same soul group but more refined.  

Soulmates takes it a step further, according to various dictionaries a soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.  The word is used with more rarity than the terms also associated with 'romantic partner'. The term is a very versatile term, being defined differently by different individuals, as it is related to the concept of love. It commonly holds the connotation of being the strongest bond with another person that one can achieve.

But it also can mean two people with strong similar beliefs who work for the greater common good, such as scientists who work to find a cure for cancer they come together, see within each other that spark that’s needed for research, they even have a relationship that is so unique as they may seem of one mind.   Even though they may be married to different spouses.

A fictional reference is Perry Mason and Della Street, they work together, are supportive of one another even do a slight flirtation but they are not married to each other, nor did it appear that they had any sexual liaison with each other.

Another but real life example of this relationship was J. Edgar Hoover and his secretary Helen Gandy, she remained his secretary and “guardian of the gates” until his death and even after, this was in addition to the alleged relationship to his assistant director Clyde Tolson. Both J. Edgar and Ms. Gandy were dedicated beings even if J. Edgar has his detractors.

The concept of Soul Mates was theorized by Plato in one of his dialogues where the soul was both male and female as well as androgynous but the gods divided them into separate sexes until “It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.”

In Theosophy beliefs it is thought that God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God." Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

The Jewish faith believe in the concept of  Bashert, this is a Yiddish word that means "destiny". It is often used in the context of one's divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate, who is called "basherte" (female) or "basherter" (male). It can also be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening.  In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly.  And this is in spite of how well or how bad their married life works out.

Many critics and psychologists say that looking for a soul mate is unrealistic, because what if you do have only one soul mate somewhere in this world, or what if they had not been born yet it would be a nightmare.

I had one person, a man come to me claiming that this woman that he knew at work was his soul mate and he wanted to be close to her to the point of eventually asking her to marry him.  Well I met the lady and although she was very nice, she only regarded him as a friend that she was willing to help out from time to time but her feelings were that only of friendship, not love.

I saw that she was romantically involved with another man and I felt that in this life time they were supposed to be together, but the original gentleman in question who had such powerful feelings for her was having a hard time dealing with this.  I had to explain to him that in this lifetime they were to only be friends that she had to work out a karmic destiny with the other man, but for him to be a good supportive friend, because in this lifetime that is what she is going to need.   

I explained to him how convoluted the workings of soul mates are, and that we make these bargains to work things out in our karmic destiny, and sometimes it’s hard for the soul to recognize that.   He eventually understood, and in time after she had children the children regarded him as an Uncle, he also had a father that became so ill that the gentleman had to devote time to his father’s care and well-being for many years.  After his father died the gentleman told me that if he had pursued marriage with the young lady, they would have eventually divorce, it would have been too great a strain on the relationship, but by being a friend things worked out very well.

But what if we did have one randomly-assigned perfect soul mate, and we couldn’t be happy with anyone else? Would we find each other?   Let’s assume your soul mate is set at birth. You know nothing about who or where they are, but—as in the romantic cliché—you’ll recognize each other the moment your eyes meet.   Right away, this raises a few questions. For starters, is your soul mate even still alive?  

In many cases that soul mate may not be born in this time frame because they may need to work something out in their karma in a different situation, with different souls at a different time.   So it is possible that this time around you will not be with your “Soulmate” but with someone who agreed before the both of you were born to get together and have a relationship that would be a learning experience for both of you.   It could lead to marriage, for however long or short it would be.

The word soulmate is a noun and the first time this word actually appeared in usage was in 1822

It was to mean : a close friend who completely understands you : a person who has the same beliefs and opinions as another person :  a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament:  a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs aka ideological soul mates.

This can mean either husband and wife, or a very close companionable friend.

The trouble, however, is this: New research suggests that wishing newlyweds well by invoking the idea of “soul mates” may be not be the greatest idea. The very concept seems to make people more dissatisfied with their relationships when asked to recall conflicts, according to the study, led by University of Toronto marketing professor Spike W.S. Lee. Because if you cling too tightly to the idea that your partner must be your other half, it means that the two of you “should have perfect harmony, no conflicts whatsoever,” Lee said. “When reality proves otherwise, as it almost inevitably does, it hurts all the more.”

However in we have also read of couples who have been married 50, 60, 70, 80 years and have actually died on or about the same day,  but in interviewing them the term soul mate never came up, the actual term was “Best Friend” as well as using the term “we were in for the journey”.    These couples just knew they were in it “for the long haul”.   None of this romantic business, they lived, loved, laughed, argued, worked together, cried together, cared for each other, worried about each other, helped each other.   In many cases chores were shared, it was not unusual for a man to bottle feed the baby, or change the diaper or help the wife hang up clothes, and it was not unusual for the wife to help the man paint the house,  shingle the roof, milk the cows in some cases.    

But the term Soulmate was never used, Best Friend was.  

Lee and colleagues rounded up 73 people of all ages from Ann Arbor, Michigan, all of whom had been in a relationship for at least six months. The participants were asked to take a quiz, ostensibly to gauge whether they’d heard some common expressions before. But one group was given several phrases that alluded to the idea of soul mates: “we are one,” “my better half," “made for each other.” The other group saw phrases that brought to mind a journey: “we’ve walked together,” “a long trail," “look how far we’ve come.” After that, the volunteers were told to write down either two memories of good times, or two memories of bad times, that they’d shared with their partner. Finally, they rated how satisfied they were with their relationships.

The results seem to come down in favor of viewing love as a journey. The people who recalled a conflict after being primed to think soul mates said they were unhappier in their relationships, compared to those who’d been primed to think journey.

Researchers who study relationships typically have placed people’s beliefs about romantic relationships on a spectrum that falls somewhere between two categories, “destiny” and “growth.” Those in the destiny camp believe in soul mates, maybe love at first sight and certainly the idea that there is one person out there you were meant to be with, while growth people believe romance takes effort. And most people are a blend of the two.

Couples who are, at their core, very good friends are also more likely to be more in love, be more committed to each other, and even have better sex than couples who value their friendship less.

So finding one’s soulmate is not necessarily looking into another person’s eyes and saying “This is it!!!”   and that you will be so compatible, that there will never be any conflicts, no that is wrong, and I should know.

I have had a number of relationships, many didn’t last that long maybe 6 months to a year, and then something would happen and it just drift way and I didn’t even think twice about it, but I did learn more about the human condition and the human heart.

But there were 4 that were more serious, I married and then divorced one, was engaged and broke up with another, was very, Very good friends with a third until he died from complications due to AIDS, and the fourth one I’ve been with for over 25 years. 

With number one, I felt the pressure to get married, so did he, his friends were married and I was heading into the age of being called a “spinster”, neither of us were married before, of the same religious faith, no children so we thought why not.  Big Mistake!    After we were married we discovered our expectations were entirely different, I felt we should work as a team and he felt that he should call all the shots, wanted me to turn  my entire paycheck to him, not have contact with my parents, well you can see where that was going.  

 Luck however was on my side, by accident, when he thought I was spending the night at my parents’ house,  I realized I’d left my wallet at home, upon returning home I caught him in bed with another woman.  I chased both of them out of the house with a broom, they were naked, I did throw to her, her purse, shoes and coat, I kept her dress, she cried out “How am I to get home??”  I yelled back “Walk!!! That’s what all the Hookers do!!!”  

Him I kept outside the entire night, he had to hide behind the garbage can and a couple of cardboard boxes, I let him in early the next morning so the neighbors wouldn’t complain and stated “I Want a Divorce!”  He didn’t argue.   Some years later we both agreed if two people should not have married each other we were it.

My 2^nd relationship I was engaged to a man who was widowed, two children, but I felt it was workable, however because he was a member of a small church group they feared him marrying someone who was not of their church, they introduced him to another woman and while he and I were still engaged he married this other woman and didn’t tell me for 6 weeks.  He did make amends by paying me a large amount of funds which I used to repair my parents’ house, and I kept the engagement ring and matching wedding band.

My 3^rd relationship was very friendly and very sad, he was gay, had a gay lover, but it seemed that we liked the same things, understood the same things but even though we were the same age I felt that spiritually he was many years older, like a mentor.  He contracted AIDS and his partner couldn’t handle it very well, and fortunately did not contract the illness, but he emotionally distanced himself from my friend, so we talked and I dealt with the onset of the mild dementia that he suffered.  

 When he was in hospice we talked about death, I held his hand, and I saw a look in his eyes a look of pure love, it penetrated my soul, and I knew what it was.  He said “I Love you” and I said “I love you too” and I felt a powerful sense of energy reaching out between him and me, it was overwhelming,  I thought I was going to cry.   Then when it died down he asked me if I could come back tomorrow I said I would, then he said “Please call first” I thought that was a strange remark but I said I would.   When I did call the next day I was told he passed away during the night. 

I realized that I had met one of my soul mates, possibly a “Twin Flame” (I’ll talk about that in my next post), but surely I had been closely related, in contact to someone who mentored me and in the end taught me about Death.  

Now I said “one of my soul mates” I do believe that sometimes we will have more than one, like a portion split off into a third entity, and that  it comes around for something very powerful, sometimes as a parent, or sibling or dear friend.   When we go to the other side we will join them as part of that soul group and then after many incarnations as one.

Now my last relationship, we met at my work place, it was really a funny situation, too long to go into here, but as time when by he helped me at my parents’ home (I was living with my mother, dad had died some time ago)  and I regarded ourselves as friends, one day he came into where I work, we planned on having coffee on my break, he started looking around and as I watched him I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of love towards him.   I mentally shook my head and said “Wait a minute girl, he’s just a friend”.

Later on, several situations happened that I began to question my feelings towards him and then I saw it, that same overpowering look in his eyes the same as my friend who died several years before had, it was pure, overwhelming, powerful and then he said “I love you” and I kissed him, we cried and we’ve been together for over 25 years, oh there have been bumps in the road, but as it’s been said “We are in for the long haul”  we’ve lived, loved, laughed, argued, worked together, cried together, cared for each other, worried about each other, helped each other, and we do get romantic with each other, but it’s not one of those candles and fine wine and soft music romance.

No our romantic dates have been cooking over a camp stove, with the birds singing in the trees, seeing the sun rise, drinking hot camp coffee and breathing in the scent of the trees and at night romanced by the howl of coyotes,  and just looking at the stars.   And then when we’re back in the city remembering that. 

So what is a Soulmate?   Well as the definition says one half of one person, who when together completes the whole, or “My better half”, and more importantly “My Best Friend”.  They are important in our own personal soul and spiritual growth.  When will we meet out soul mate?  That depends upon what contracts we’ve made before we were born.

The book that I mentioned before in my previous post “Journey of Souls” by Michael Newton can help to understand the concept of Soul Mates in far more intimate detail, and I do recommend it for your bookshelf.

How does one know if one has met one’s soul mate?   At first you don’t but if it seems that you can work things out, be equal partners with each other, deal with the ups and downs of one another, only over time do you know if you have met your soul mate.  

And if not well at least you’ve met someone from whom you will learn a life lesson. 

In my next post I will talk about “Twin Flames” allegedly a highly developed form of Soul Mates.

After that I'm going to look into the aspects of the positive and negative aspects of the use of Dolls in spells and rituals. 

Blessings Ms. Q

A side trip on to Group Souls and other subjects~~~~

Hello Ms. Q,

I know I have not posted in a long time, we’ll several things, I had been ill on and off, then a family member came down ill and I needed to take care of them, and then when I thought my life was going to get back on track and make plans, I was summoned and sworn in to do Jury Service---3 months of Jury Service. 

But like my Granny use to say “We make plans and God laughs”, well he must have thought he was pretty darn funny getting me on a Jury trial.  And I won’t go into it, that would be an entire Blog site on its own.

But it did give me time to think and see what I’d like to write about, but sometimes the direction happens in a different way, I had received a number of “private posts” on my blog and out of privacy concerns to those that did post to me I did not post their questions or remarks because it did cover pretty much the same subject, and because of that I am going to take a side trip in my blog.

I know that more people want me to go into the making of ritual oils and such, and I will do that eventually, but as I said, I have been having a number of people asking me about Group Souls, Soul Mates and the concept of Twin Flames as well as Past Lives/Reincarnation.

That is a very deep subject as well as combining all of these subjects and I need to answer them in a sort of direct line of thought.

Now some people do not believe in Group Souls, Soul Mates, Reincarnation etc. etc., which is fine, that is their personal thoughts on the matter, and I won’t argue with them or debate with them, but if asked questions I will answer them.

So First we are going to start with Group Souls in this post.

My Grandma told me a long time ago “God does not waste anything, Man does.”   Now she was saying this to me when I was growing up in the late 1940’s- 1950’s, and when I was with my Grandma and Mom I was taught to carry a small canvas bag, and if I found a glass bottle that was not broken or anything that was usable to put it into my bag,  glass bottles I could turn in for 3 cents each, and put that into my piggy bank, the bottles were remolded and made into new bottles thus not wasting minerals and other ore’s to make glass bottles.  I’d find string, pins (for sewing), pennies, it all adds up and all usable.

But Granny also meant that God (if one wants to believe in a Divine being) doesn’t waste souls either to just come onto this planet one time and then up to “heaven” and thinking well that’s it,  Oh no, Granny told me that God is a teacher and if we want to become part of him a part of the Divine Presences Cosmic Body to never return we have to come to earth or other planets that hold life and learn our experiences because Earth is a School for us to learn our lessons.

And each life time could be focused on just one lesson and learning it, so we will come back repeatedly, that is not to say that we as souls/spirits do not learn on the other side, we do, but to apply that spiritual learning to an incarnated reality is what makes the lesson stick, so to speak.  And sometimes we do not get it right so we have to come back in a different life to learn it again.

Now I know you’re going to ask “Why do some people come back and do horrible things?”  Well that is a long lesson in itself and deals with the issue of Karma, but that will be for another discussion.  My fingers can only type for so long---writer’s cramp you know.  (LOL)

 Of course for people with a logical or scientific mind this concept of the soul/spirit return does not make sense, but it does if you remember that energy is never destroyed it just reformats itself, and intelligent energy will do that again and again, and that is what Souls are, but it is far more than my overly simple description.

Even miracles are formed that way.

In an experiment with a human observer, subatomic particles behave differently from the way they behave when the experiment is not observed while in progress and then the results are examined only after the experiment is completed.

Because of this it is believed that on a subatomic level, human will can in part shape reality---something the Buddhists have talked about or taught for years.

It’s all about Quantum Theory or Quantum Mechanics if you apply it to a spiritual matter, Quantum Theory tells us that every point in the universe is intimately connected to every other point, regardless of apparent distance.  In some strange, mysterious even mystical way any point on a planet in a distant galaxy is as close to me as the very keyboard that I’m typing on.

Even in the first Star Wars movie, when a planet was destroyed Yoda said “There is a disturbance in The Force”.   Can you imagine someone so spiritually evolved to hear spiritually the dying cries of millions of people?   It would drive an average person insane.

But getting back to Quantum Theory, this hypothesis means that information or objects or even people, should be able to move instantly between locations or between earth and other planets, it’s just that we don’t as yet understand this quantum structure of reality sufficiently to even achieve such a miracle.  And I’m talking beyond the idea of “beaming down from the Starship Enterprise to a planet’s surface”.

But Quantum theory does give us reason to believe that on a deep structural level, every point in the universe is in some way the same point.

Now for the planet earth this interconnectedness of every point is so complete that if a huge flock of birds suddenly flew out of the trees (and I’m talking huge) that disturbance in the air caused by their wings will contribute to weather changes in a major city or state hundreds or thousands of miles away.

Primary example was the eruption of the Tambora volcano on the island of Soembawa in Indonesia on April 15th 1815. The eruption lasted one week and rumbled for 3 months. The mountain elevation dropped from 14,000 feet to 9000 feet, killed close to 10,000 people on the island and another 80,000 people and possibly much more than was recorded, would eventually die from starvation and diseases related to the eruption. Tambora was one of the largest recorded eruptions with estimates of 150 million tons of dust put into the air equaling 6 million atomic bombs. The theory is that the dust reached the Northern Hemisphere during the following year of 1816 reducing solar output.

This happen to co-inside with the growing season of 1816, resulting in crop failures in the US and over a wide spread swath in Europe.  It was referred to as “The Summer That Wasn’t”.   So what happened in the Southern Pacific Ocean affected Northern American, Canada and Europe as far away as India.

So what does this have to do with Group Souls?

If you apply this same principle of Quantum Theory to Souls, it means energy cannot be destroyed but reformed, with an intelligence behind it to plan one’s next rebirth.  As well as the group or groups of people that will be needed to help teach you this lesson, because they to need to interact with you even briefly for their own soul development and learning.

Now the holding place for all these groups souls has many names, The Source is but one of many names, some people will also say we are part of the Body of God or of Christ, some people will call it the “Holding place”, some people will call it heaven, the Summerland or the Bardo or something, but it has one function it is where we go back to, to review our previous life and what we need to do next and plan our next life.  

Many people simply call it “Home”.

So a soul group is a group of infinite beings of consciousness who help us learn life lessons.  Many have been with us in various previous incarnations and have spent the majority of time with us in the ethereal realms aka “heaven/home”.  While we’re on the “other side”, we make agreements with our soul groups to meet at some juncture in our Earth-bound lives (or any other place of incarnation, it doesn’t have to be Earth).

However some of these relationships will never manifest in one’s current incarnation due to free will as well as what one needs in one’s current incarnation and what the other spirit/soul needs in their incarnation.

Before we are born, we choose the experiences that we desire to have in one’s current incarnation and then make soul contracts with the souls of people who will help us along the way.  We also choose which parents we will have and the type of lifestyle we will lead.  It’s not unusual to be asking yourself, “Why did I choose THIS lifestyle?”  Because before you were born you knew it would give you the best chance to learn so many life lessons and to grow spiritually.  At birth, your personality, character, abilities, talents, strengths and weaknesses are already formed.  Now, it’s just a matter of learning from your weaknesses and using your abilities to the utmost capacity.

Each day as well as In the future, you will meet people at the most opportune times in your life, and not by coincidence.  These people are part of your soul group who will help you with your life lessons.

Something led you Ms. Q to my web site to read and learn, I didn’t do anything except I felt the need to create the web site, but you  had to instigate the hunt for my web site and that was YOU, not me, YOU, I was simply the soul that had made the deal with your soul long before you were born (remember at least 50 or more years difference in our ages) that we would come in contact at your own choosing by finding my site.

Now that does not take away your free will, because our earthly lives are like those old “Choose Your Own Adventure” novels that was popular years ago, where you had two or three choices and each choice would lead to a different outcome.

Now why at least 50 years, (plus the years for you to grow up so let’s say my 70 plus years of life) because I needed those years to learn the lessons to be able to give you answers to your questions.  And not only to you, but to others who have asked me many of those same questions.  Because my Soul energy is to be “Teacher”.   But it took me a long time to learn this and I had to be part of a soul group that would teach me the lessons be able to relate it to personal experiences to pass on to others including you, Ms. Q.

You can have many soul groups that can include literally millions of people!  And one soul from one group can briefly interact with another soul from another group to give the lessons needed, and when I say briefly it depends upon factors that are in play that we do not even know about that are yet to come, for example I should die suddenly or you find a job out of state and lose my web site information, as well as any number of other factors.   But it will be for as long as needed.

So how would all this look like?

Well the best way I could describe it is the internal workings of an old-fashioned complicated Pocket Watch, the case of the watch is the universe, the main spring is the energy, but we have all these little wheels with cogs and teeth and such, now some of these wheels do not interact directly with the other wheels but with the aid of the cogs and levers and such,  they do, now over the years some wheels will have the tiny teeth wear down and miss connecting with the cogs, nothing much happens except that the watch will lose a brief millisecond of time, and those are missed opportunities, eventually they will re-connect in other ways and continue functioning, but it will be missing something and the soul will sense its missed something and it will try to make up for it in other ways, so our subconscious self will see the watch is losing time, we don’t want that to happen so a wise person will take the watch to a watch repair person, and get it functioning again, and somehow in another way with another soul you’ll have that next opportunity.

But an unwise person or soul, will not take time to continue to fix it or to continue to look for opportunities and when that happens, well it is a sad and dissatisfied life one will lead.  Until you pass over to the other side, and talk with your spiritual counselor, that person will show you the missed opportunities, so you plan it all over again into another life.

In 1991 an excellent movie came out with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep called “Defending Your Life”, in a comic way it does explain what happens on the other side all the good and the bad. Defending Your Life is a romantic comedy-fantasy film about a man who dies and arrives in the afterlife only to find that he must stand trial and justify his lifelong fears in order to advance to the next phase of life; or be sent back to earth to do it again.

Meryl Streep plays the young lady who made all the right choices and did well, while Albert Brooks sees all the bad choices and how he never learned from it.  In one sequence Streep announces to Brooks “I was a Knight before, what were you?”   The man looks at the screen and sees himself as a Hindu fellow running for his life from a hungry Tiger so he replies “LUNCH!”   It’s worth watching even for a laugh.

The only trouble with this film is that it does not go into the group soul concept.  But it does in a way give an idea of Soul Mates as well.

There are many ideas on the afterlife but we have to remember in the afterlife we are multidimensional beings on the other side, and we make thousands upon thousands of contracts to meet specific people at specific times in one’s life.  In the third dimensional reality, it’s difficult to comprehend the numerous amounts of contracts that we’ve made but when you’re multidimensional, it’s quite easy to do.

And as I said some of these relationships will never manifest in this incarnation due to free will.

An excellent book that describes the afterlife and gives an indication of group souls is

Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives--- Paperback – July, 1994

by Michael Newton (Author)

Now I have to be honest I don’t completely agree with some of the hypothesis that Newton promotes but some of the descriptions that his subjects relates does match up with what I have seen in out of body experiences and through meditation, as well as through the experiences my Grandmother, Mother and close friends have seen and experienced.

Now remember even though we’ve made contracts on “the Other side” we have not pre-determined our lives, we’ve only given ourselves situations at certain points in our lives, it is for us to do with as we ourselves choose to do.

So bottom line, we were meant to meet, but it was up to you to find me or my web site.

Exciting isn’t it.

Now before I sign off there is one application of group souls, and that is those who die in a form of mass destruction such as Pearl Harbor, the Holocaust, and The Twin Towers.   These are large groups of souls that take on that mantle to die as a group for several reasons, of which I can only fathom a few.

One is to move a historical event forward to create a situation for spiritual learning, another is a mass payment of Karmic debt and in doing so to move things forward, now this can be in groups of thousands, or hundreds of thousands to as small as 50 to a hundred or even less.  But it is to be a learning lesson to those left behind and for those who lose loved ones to have a spiritual lesson as well.

But how they want to take that lesson is dependent on the individuals’ choices, some took to drink, other’s created groups to deal with the loss, just to name a few.   And it seems that some of these souls will do it again and again until that Karmic debt is paid.

In my next post I’ll discuss soul mates and hopefully twin flames concepts.

Blessings Ms. Q