Wednesday, June 28, 2017

How to Deal with a "Love Mess"~~~

Hello Everyone.

Of late I’ve been getting a lot of questions/comments from ladies both young and a little older, that their boyfriend has left them, they try and try to get them back but nothing seems to work.   And just recently one of my friends’ daughters went through the same situation.  

They’ve done the spells to get them back but it didn’t work for various reasons, and that’s when they realize the person they are attracted to or are in love with is never going to come to them, or come back to them.  And then they realize it is over, so now what do they do, they do everything they can to get over it but there is that stinging pain stuck in their heart from the romance or the loss of romance,    

After a painful period of time they still have feelings but the logic side of the brain has kicked in and they finally understand they must let go, BUT there is that pain what do they or you do about it besides cry?  

Well there are some rituals that can be done.  There is the Black Walnut bath aka Walnut bath and there is the “Cut and Clear” ritual spell.

One type of Black Walnut Bath Cat Yronwood describes on her web site Lucky Mojo I have the link here for it.

And in that same post she says it should be followed with the Cut and Clear Spell.  But she also says “Be sure you want to break the link completely”.   This would include not only an ex-lover, but also a worthless family member.  And we’ve All had one of those.

And here’s one from Doctor E from his Conjure Blog:

“Black Walnut Bath - to kill any emotions toward a person
Here is the ultimate relationship ending bath - the Black Walnut Bath. Black Walnuts will literally obliterate any emotions you have toward anyone. They put you back in a neutral emotional place which is really where you want to be once you've moved past a relationship.

Black Walnuts still in their fruit pods are traditionally used for this bath. The fruits have a very dark juice in them that will absolutely stain everything in sight, so this bath is done outdoors in a metal wash tub, not in your nice porcelain indoor tub. Black walnuts can be hard to come by, so you can use English or Persian walnuts instead (the kind you find in a grocery store). The problem is that they aren't as strong and don't have the husk on them, so you'll have to boil them for much longer to get a dark colored liquid in the end.

As an additional note, this bath is performed in the nude outdoors, so it's probably best to do this very late at night where no one will see you, in a rural area where you can walk to a crossroad and not be seen - unless you really don't mind people seeing you walking at night naked.

To prepare the bath:
On the dark moon, put 9 black walnuts, still in their husks in a large pot full of water (2-3 quarts). Bring them to a boil, and continue to cook them until the water is very dark (condensed down to about 1 quart). Remove the walnuts from the water, and add the dark fluid into a larger basin of bath-temperature water. Take the basin outside where you'll be performing your bath.

Outside, set up a large metal washtub on the ground. Light a black candle and set it near where you'll be taking your bath. Disrobe and stand inside the large metal washtub. Now pour the black walnut bath over your head. As you do so, recite a portion of Psalm 51: "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." then pray in your own words to release the bonds of your past relationship, obliterate the feelings in your heart and deliver you from the pain and strife of that past partnership. Do so in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, AMEN!

Squeegee the excess water off of your both working from your head down toward your feet, continuing to pray the 51st Psalm. Air dry.

Now, gather up a bit of the used bathwater and walk nude toward the nearest crossroad and throw that used bathwater into the crossroad over your left shoulder saying "AMEN!" and walk away without looking back. Return to where you bathed, dress in new clean clothes, dump the rest of your bath out on the earth, and gather your belongings and head home. You can continue to burn the black candle on your working surface at home.

You will no longer feel anything at all toward that person. Your emotions will be neutralized and you'll find peace in your heart from then onward.”

Draja Mickaharic  has a variation of that bath stating that it’s for “breaking off a relationship or any contact with another person"  so once that person is out of your life its forever, you can’t even be friends.   Pretty serious I think.

He says to Simmer 6 unshelled walnuts in an iron pot full of water, the walnuts should simmer for 3 hours with water added as needed.  Allow the last quart of water to cool to room temperature, take out the walnuts and put this walnut tea into a tub of bath water.  While in the tub pray sincerely to end the relationship.   And he warns to not have any sexual relations with that person after you’ve taken the bath.  

The Black Walnut Bath is really wonderful for releasing old emotions,  but it’s hard to get Black walnuts around some places especially in their green or ripening fruit pods,  so unless you know of anyone who has a walnut tree in their yard, one is forced to use either English or Persian Walnuts with their pods already removed and then boil and boil the solid nuts until the right color is attained

It can be done inside but one thing that Granny warned me is that the walnut water stains everything including nice porcelain tubs, towels, clothing , rugs, so the only way to do it without staining anything is that it needs to be done outside in the nude the whole ritual--- now that’s fine if one lives in a very rural or wooded area, but in the city or suburbia that can cause problems, especially if there is a law about indecent exposure or as some proper Victorian Ladies would say “It might scare the horses!”  And in the winter or cold months it’s not much fun.

The “Cut and Clear” method works very well, as it appears to be a more recent (well in the latter half of the 20th century) development in the Hoodoo workings, but it could be older.

Talia Felix has one that far less messy than boiling Walnuts.

The only draw-back is finding a river to throw the bottle in especially if you live in a desert area.   And you don’t want to be accused of littering, if it’s a tiny, tiny bottle like what perfume samples come in that might work.

For me when I was young although I knew of the Walnut Bath and the Cut and Clear method, Granny preferred the Walnut bath for really major workings and I assisted my Granny in doing it for a lady, we did it at midnight and had an old metal wash tub  and we were fortunate that a crossroads was nearby, we had her wear a slip and slippers, and I did walk with her for safety sake,  I mean after all there are limits. 

However when it happened to me I came up with something less messy.

Yes, Dear Readers I too had been dumped, but most of them were not so serious, I got over it quickly by putting on my Big Girl Pants.    But then when I was in college I had it bad, and I got dumped bad,  yes even me, now at my old age,  I went through that when I was young.   As I am fond of saying to my young nieces and nephews “Been there, Done that, Bought the T-Shirt”.

This happened after a young man I was dating in College for a long time (and this was many, many years ago) decided to “dump” me in favor of a gal who had money, was better looking (he thought) and her family had connections.

 Needless to say I was heartbroken --- at first--- I did the usual things (magical) to win him back, but it didn’t seem to work, Mom found out and did a reading and it pointed out that anything I did spell-wise would not work, and the logic side of my brain did finally kick in but I was heart sick, I mean how could that Cad dump me for that skinny, boney wench? (trust me she was boney)

Both Granny and Mom wanted me to do the walnut bath at first, but we agreed it was messy and there was no nearby crossroads and they didn’t want me walking almost naked (after all we didn’t want to scare the neighbor’s---or their imaginary horses---or get arrested).

Mom, Granny and I talked about how I was feeling about this and then Mom remarked that I was emotionally in a “Love Mess”.    I began to think---Yes! I had been crossed in love, yeah I was in a “Love Mess”, so talking it over with them we developed an uncrossing bath to uncross the “love mess”, as I called it, I did it, it was easier and it worked, not only for me but I suggested it for other girls in the same situation and it worked for them as well.

What I did is I made a muslin bag and I put uncrossing herbs such as Hyssop, lavender, rue, basil, rosemary and lemon peels into it, plus a pinch of salt, and tied it off.  I then ran hot water (mixed with a bit of cold so I wouldn’t burn myself)  into the tub,  and soak the muslin bag with the herbs in it, as the tub was filling up I wrote his full name in pencil on a piece of brown paper, then I firmly crossed it out.

I had 2  four inch tall yellow candles to bring happiness into me,   and 1 four inch black candle to banish what was making me un-happy (mostly you know who) , on the black candle I inscribed with his name, then I crossed his name off, I anointed the two yellow candles with rose oil and rolled it in lavender blossoms and the leaves, and the black candle with banishing oil and rolled it in the dried Hyssop,  the black candle was put between the two yellow candles and the black candle was put on top of the paper.

Now some people would say “Why Rose oil?  Isn’t that for Love?”   Yes it is, and I carved my name on those yellow candles because I wanted to love myself again and have happiness in my life.

I had all three candles sitting safely on the bathroom sink, then I lit them.

Getting into the tub I prayed the 51st Psalm line 7 as I pour the water over my head, then I started my portable phonograph playing a 78 speed record of Mary Martin singing “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair” from the musical South Pacific and I sat in the tub soaking with the bag of herbs as the song played.   Yes, I had a record player that was electric and portable that played 78 speed records, we didn’t have CD’s, tapes or MP 3 players in the “dark ages”.

I played it 9 times as I soaked, before too long I was singing along with it at the top of my lungs.   I continued soaking in the tub singing that song (the record player was turned off by then) when the water cooled down I got out of the tub, allowed myself to air dry, scooped up some of the tub water into a cup, burned the name paper lighting it  in the flame of the black candle and allowed it to safely burn out in a dish, I put the ash into the cup with the tub water  poured it into the toilet bowl and then flushed it down the toilet along with all my misery and yelled “AND LET HIM GO!!  YEAH SISTAH!!!!”  

And damn if that didn’t feel GOOD!!   Because I pictured him being flushed down with all the krap and piss as well.   As a matter of fact I did have to do a number 1 and 2 so that got dumped on the bath water and ash.

I let the 3 candles burn down,  the two yellow one’s I put into a little flannel bag that I dressed with rose oil and the black one I put into a paper bag and dumped it in the dumpster behind the local market along with the rotting veggies and flies.

It was very effective, I felt wonderful and free and fixed myself up real nice when I went back to school the following Monday for class, there was a spring in my step and a few guys asked me out on dates.  I felt GREAT!   

Yes I did see him with the other girl, but when he saw me I just smiled at him, gave a bit of a shrug to my shoulders and flipped my long hair with my hand as if saying “So what, it’s your loss” and turned away.     Later that day he did come up to me to ask me out, I said “No, your loss” and turned away singing softly “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair and send him on his way”  

Needless to say eventually the girl he was seeing whose family had money and connections, dumped him for someone else who had more money and better connections.   But I never took him back.  As I said it was his loss. 

I found that if I listened to the Mary Martin version of “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair” afterwards as I soak in the tub and I keep repeating the lyrics, it worked real good and seemed to be far more effective in keeping that energy going.   It continued to give me a positive outlook on life.  I still hum it today when I want to get rid of bad feelings---except I’m keeping my Hubby, he’s very good to me.

Now with You Tube and Itunes, it’s easier to find a version of that song from the musical South Pacific, Reba Macintyre does a great version with a girl’s chorus, very upbeat.   

Here’s a link to Reba McIntyre’s version:

I suggested this to my friend for her daughter to do and she found that it worked for her and she found a new and much better boyfriend.

So along with the Black Walnut or Walnut Bath, or the Cut and Clear Method, I offer this version to clear up your feelings when you find yourself in a “Love Mess”

Bright Blessings,
Ms. Q


  1. Hello I would like to ask a question, I did a honey jar and placed a free standing red candle ontop. The flames burnt very high throughout the night but had a lot of black smoke. When I looked at the wax this morning it looked like a man and woman having intercourse, with the woman ontop. Can you please tell me what this means.

    1. Hello my Dear,

      Part of it depends upon what herbs you put into the Honey Jar, and what was your intent?

      A red candle usually means passionate love or lust, the image of the woman on top means that the woman desires to dominate the relationship.

      BUT the black smoke means that it will not work out very well and something or someone is working against you.

      I do not foresee, given the limited information you’ve given me, this working out very well and you may need to re-think things.

      Bright Blessings,
      Ms. Q

  2. Yes it was a honey jar meant to sweeten our relationship and his thoughts towards me. I put red wine,honey, cinnamon,cayenne, my intent paper,a magnet,catsnip and my love oils.

    1. Dear AE,

      If you only put in one magnet without another magnet to be attracted to it well that is one tiny error, because magnets like load-stones can be male and female.

      Catnip is fine, and of course honey, and your intent paper and love oils.

      But using red wine is more for lust and pleasure, cinnamon is for lust, it can be used in love spells and to make charms to draw love, and it has other uses and because of its hot, fiery nature, cinnamon is a natural ally for love and sex magic.

      Cayenne (pepper?) is to seriously heat things up adding it to love spells will ensure that your love will be spicy, and can inflame the loved one with passion.

      So over all you’ve made it hot, spicy, passionate and lustful, and adding the red candle for passion, really takes this Honey jar to a different level beyond just sweetening the relationship, to me it’s more like “use him and lose him” and that is what your wax reading is showing.

      If you only wanted to just sweeten your relationship and his thoughts towards you, well you’ve made it more lustful than sweet.

      If you wanted him to love and cherish you with the goal towards a permanent relationship, this combination will just have him more interested in having sex with you but not the rest.

      And the black smoke is an indicator that it won’t go the way you want it to, you could get emotionally hurt.

      If that is what you want then continue with the red candles but if you want to “tone it down” a little, burn pink candles instead, that could make it more romantic for you, but be careful of his sweet words if you don’t want to have sex until after marriage.

      That is where “Love Magic” can go wrong, so “tone it down” a bit.

      Bright Blessings,
      Ms. Q

  3. Thank you very much Ms Q I fully understand what you are saying. You are absolutely correct the heat may have been to much all at once. I will have to tone it down with pink candles, the heat may have scared him a bit. Now he's confused as to why his self control and better judgement is clouded when it comes to me. So now he has decided to step back a bit, any suggestions on what I can do?

    1. Der AE,

      Well there are a couple of things you could do, one of them is to burn pink candles on your current honey jar, or simply burn white candles to even things out.

      While that is happening put together another honey jar with less potent materials, try white wine instead of red, use rose petals from a pink or pinkish color rose, add rose oil to the honey jar, your petition paper and only the tiniest pinch of cinnamon, of course your love oils, although I don’t know which ones you used, can you tell me which ones, because there might be one you may need to not include.

      Then on this 2nd honey jar burn pink candles that are lightly sprinkled with powdered sugar, just keep an eye on how they burn, do that for a week, then after a week burn the candles on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays to keep it going. Now this would be on both honey jars.

      Or just let the first honey jar just sit quietly for a while, don't burn any candles on it and do the less fiery one as I suggested above just to keep the love interest going.

      Be gentle and quiet when you’re with him and wear “Cleo May” oil as a perfume, just a dab behind the ears to keep him interested in you and maybe even a little generous towards you.

      But exercise patience for him to come around.

      Bright Blessings,
      Ms. Q

    2. Thank you for your response, the oils I used are love, come to me, magnet, rose, domination, road opener, 7 african powers and oshun. I am working with the orishas, so I figured I would add them in as well. Also I set up a skull and circled it with catsnip and come to me sachet powder, I use a white candle at night, but last night I dreamt I was using a black candle. I am a bit hesitant when it comes to black candles as I have no experience using it, but I do remember overhearing my grandmother as a child saying "one should be very careful when burning black candles, as it can backfire on them if they dont know what they're doing".

      Also in your other post you spoke of St Martha the Dominator... I worked with her one time, but I started having weird forest dreams, and I backed off, I gave her what I promised and left her alone. I was told she can be very strict with the ones she chooses to work with, can you please elaborate on working with her.

    3. Hello AE

      Oy Vey! That’s a lot of power oils you put in! No wonder he reacted the way he did.

      I would have only used love, come to me, rose, and oshun, the others just cranked things up another notch or two or more.

      Having the dream of the black candle was telling you that you had overpowered your honey jar and your Grandmother is right using a black candle in a spell that does not require a black candle can backfire on a person.

      I’d use black for banishing, hexing, cursing, break up spells, those sort of things, but some black figure candles can be used to help banish an illness, being in debt, or a negative situation.

      That is why the choice of the color of the candle is important.

      About St. Martha, yes she can be very strict especially if the reason that you petition her is selfish.

      If you were having “forest dreams” depending upon the work you were doing, she could have been sending a message to you to look deep within yourself in regards to the work or reason for the work you were doing.

      That is another way the spirits of the saints communicate.

      Personally I don’t see anything wrong with what you did with the skull, but again it could have been over powering.

      I think I’m going to have to do an entire post on St. Martha in regards to working with her, it would be far too long to just post as a simple reply, please be on the watch for it.

      Bright Blessings,
      Ms. Q

    4. Ok again ty for your response, I will continue with the white candle and the skull and I am redoing the honey jar per your instructions tonight.

    5. Good Luck My Dear,

      And remember to have patience.

      It's like this old 1890's song called "Fishing" one line goes like this---

      "Fishing, Fishing is all in the hands of Fate, whether you fish for fishes or whether you fish for hearts---but remember that it all depends more or less, on using the right kind of bait."

      Let me know of your progress.

      Bright Blessings,
      Ms. Q


    1. Hello Onyx,

      All questions and comments are moderated first before posting.

      This is to weed out any that are inappropriate or are commercials or spam.

      Sometimes they are held up because I may be ill or on vacation.

      When that happens my niece will do a post on the blog to alert everyone that there will be a delay in posting the questions or comments as well as replies.

      You can post a question or comment under the Blog entry that is close to your interest, or chose an entry that is more neutral.

      With those few exceptions all comments or questions are answered.

      In some cases the answer or reply might be too involved to respond as a simple reply and instead may become a blog post, especially if I feel that it is something everyone should know about.

      The one thing I ask from everyone is patience, somethings cannot be answered quickly but take some thought or meditation to post a reply.

      Bright Blessings,
      Ms. Q